I Am Addicted

I thought that would get your attention. But it is true.

I am addicted. I can’t get through most days without thinking about it.

Situations arise, and my mind goes where it shouldn’t go. How I can get what I shouldn’t get. How can I watch what I shouldn’t watch?

I’ve known a very long time I was addicted. I just dealt with it the best I could.

Which as it turns out wasn’t very good, but what do they say about spilt milk? No tears, regrets, but no tears.

I think psychologists would say that I have an “addictive” personality.

One of the major reasons I got into ‘Religion’ was that it showed me how I could overcome this addiction.

Oh, I guess you’re wondering what my nemesis is. Doesn’t matter, if it makes me feel good or escape from reality (or even a present problem), I am addicted to it. Jewish sages call it the ‘Yatser Hara’ … the evil inclination.

I overcame various addictions in various ways. I was forced, cajoled, brainwashed, etc. but one of the better ways was to convince myself of the harm done.

I’m going to fire off an e-mail to Amazon about their lousy programming. I’ve already cancelled Netflix. I like Amazon Prime because of the free shipping but the free ‘soft’ porn is not helping. Amazing what is considered ‘soft’ today was XXX in the ’60s.

Anyway, I need to get to studying and my day, thought I would get this off my chest.

Have a blessed day and if you too are addicted, hang in there. Fight it with all you’ve got and you will overcome.

That’s how I do it anyway.

October 23, 2017 at 9:42 am Leave a comment

How to Handle a Bad Situation

The Setup

One day last week, I was innocently living the dream of retirement when my beloved called to me and asked in her sweet voice,”What have you ordered now?”.

I said, “Who knows, why?”

“There’s a box out here by the door.”

Lo and behold, she was right. It was about the size of a shoe box. Guess what. It was a pair of shoes. Nice brand name (Adidas) shoes. Black. Slip on. Looked like a fancy track or golf shoe. The soles are about 1/4″ thick. I remembered shopping for such a pair a couple of weeks ago because the slip on athletic shoes are worn smooth out! I bought them in Dallas so many moons ago. (2000? 2001?).

I says to myself,”hmmmm …. I must have ordered these and forgot about it”

I try them on. Not too bad. Right foot is a little tight on little toe but tolerable.

They are comfy, no doubt.

I take them off and put them up.

The Plot Thickens

Last Tuesday, I was taking care of business, and Brenda was mowing the front lawn, when up pulls a car and a woman gets out. She is the Head Muckity Muck of the Local Post Office. She politely introduces herself and asks if we received a package recently?

Brenda says why yes, as a matter of fact, we did.

She says it wasn’t ours and they need it back to take to the rightful owners.

Brenda then tells her the problem. That I had taken them, put them on and walked around a bit.

“They fit!?!”

“Yeah, apparently”

I wasn’t there so I don’t know how the rest of the convo went but Brenda calls and fills me in.

Things Get Hairy

I go to the Post Office and learn that the situation is between me and the customer. Even though the package was delivered to the wrong address, the ball was ‘in my court’ since I had the audacity to open a package not addressed to me!

I go to the house that said shoes were supposed to go and ask to talk to this customer of Kungfu4less.com. The lady that answered the door said he was not home do I have the money for the shoes?

I asked to speak to him.

He is at work and will be back around 5.

It’s 5 and I go back and he not home yet. Do I have the money?

My plan was to offer the guy $20 and take the shoes.

Well, he finally calls last night and that’s a no-go. When do I get my $76?

I tell him I’ll bring him a check tomorrow.

The Resolution

It’s Friday morning and I’m sitting here waiting for the Cable guy (don’t ask). I go to the website to see what their return policy is. NO used goods can be returned. So I call the phone number and choose “customer service” from the recordings menu.

Mr. Sewell listens patiently to my sad tale and agrees with me that the onus should be on the Post Office but since that’s not true he has a solution.

They will send the customer another pair of shoes if I agree to buy the shoes I have ‘at cost’ plus shipping.

I am amicable. What choice do I have? So I saved $26 and have a pair of top of the line shoes in which to play racquetball.

Lessons learned

  1. DON’T open any mail unless you are sure it’s yours.
  2. DO explore all of your options.
  3. Resolve situations in a timely manner but don’t resolve before you have prayed.

 

 

August 11, 2017 at 6:40 pm Leave a comment

Revelations From Shacharit

Just before I started my morning prayers, this morning, (we call them the Shacharit sha-ka-reet), I had a major insight.

You see, I used to be a DeeJay (announcer, record spinner, etc) when I was in my 20s. I always wondered if I had any listeners. My own little ego trip, I guess. I was assured I did when I would call on advertisers during the day and they would ask me to play certain songs and such. I’ll never forget when I walked into Tulia Auto and they said,”Man, you cracked us up this morning!”. I said,”Oh, how’s that?”. One of them said,”When you said, ‘wind warnings are in effect for only those lakes with water in them!” The Texas panhandle is notorious for lakes drying up.

One of the questions I have always had in my Halak (Walk) with HaShem is Prayer. Actually, it’s how to pray effectively. I know in Jakov it reads, (more…)

April 14, 2017 at 5:30 pm Leave a comment

3AM Internal Alarm Clock

It’s amazing how HaShem is waking people up in the middle of the night. Jodie McClellan is using to time to gather prayer warriors! cool beans …

Hello Holly | Insight

Why I’m usually up at 3AM in no particular order:

  1. Someone is Snoring Loudly
  2. Cats. Cats are being loud.
  3. I’m thirsty.
  4. I had a weird dream and now I need to look something up
  5. I had a night terror and woke up screaming.
  6. I read somewhere waking up at 3AM is the perfect brain frequency for working on creative projects.
  7. I was born at around 3AM, so now I feel like it’s a “lucky” time for me.

So, what do I do with this time? 
I use this as “extra” time. I can do whatever I want! If I want to draw, I draw. If I want to play a game, I game out. I exercise, do yoga, write, read about spiders. Whatever I want to do.

Sure, I could probably use it to work or do something “productive”, but I noticed when I try to do that, I get…

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March 24, 2017 at 12:17 pm Leave a comment

I Beat the Big C …

…. Before the Drs. Killed me

I sit here with heavy heart because one of my loves is going through a battle for her life. And there is nothing I can do.

She was diagnosed about the same time I was the first time I think. Mine was Colon Cancer. Hers was in the brain. They cut out the top half of my colon and then told me I needed to take Chemo to make sure they got it all. I asked so what are the odds if I don’t take it. 50/50. And what are the odds if I do take it. 80/20.

My Dad died of cancer. I watched that strong man shrivel to nothing in a relatively short time span. I’ll take the 50/50.

Now, understand, I did not just go my merry way and ‘believe G-d’ for healing. Although, I did pray … intensely. Then I did what He told me to do. I did what Giberet Chaggit (my soulmate) told me to do.

My wife is an amazing woman. She is so grounded, so focused on HaShem that nothing can keep her from His Truth.

She researched cancer intensely on the internet. Do you know what cancer is? It is ………… (drum roll) …….

The body attacking itself.

Now why on God’s green Earth would the body attack itself? Good question!

I don’t know.

Anyway, she had me take Barley powder. I cut it with grape juice. I still take it. At least 5 times a week. Ok, here’s my early morning regime.

  1. I get up and get a cup of water
  2. I take my thyroid pill.
  3. I take a half spoon full of coconut grease. (oh, get over it. Sure, its yucky but you got a cup of water! Wash it down!)
  4. I pour a splash of grape juice in my barley cup. Add splash of water. Put in scoop of barley. Stir. Drink.

I’ve been doing this basically since I got cancer.

7 years ago,.

The Sages say that when your time is come, it has come. You might prolong it a few years by prayer and perhaps, fasting, but we are all destined to live on this Earth a certain period of time. That’s the paradox of Fate. HaShem is beyond Time. He knows what we will do before we do it, yet what we do determines our Fate. A great brain surgeon (and Rabbi) said that before every surgery, he would pray that HaShem fulfill His divine will on the patient and then go and do the surgery as if the patient’s life depended on him, not G-d.

Did they barley prevent the cancer from coming back? I couldn’t tell you. But I’m going to keep taking it!

March 15, 2017 at 7:36 am Leave a comment

Happy Purim 5777

Happy Purim 5777 (Chag Semeach Purim is my guess on the Hebrew greeting). Giberet Chaggit (Brenda) and I had a wonderful Shabbat yesterday as we most generally do. This week we made the trek to Amarillo to be with likeminded individuals. An inspiring time of Midrash (discussion), Prayer and food was had by all. By the way, you can find this week’s Parasha (triennial cycle) here.

This has been a crazy month already. What with the fires in our land. Over a million acres burned, 4 human souls died (last I heard) and untold number of animals, wild and domestic.

The story of Esther. That’s what today is all about though. It’s in the Old Testament. There have been many discussions about its authenticity but I see no reason to doubt it. The fact that it is a Rabbinical holiday deters some from celebrating. No problem. The Nations don’t need to celebrate Jewish Feasts anyway. Some say they do but don’t want anything to do with Hannuka or Purim. These people adhere to the principal that if it is not written in the Tanak (Hebrew O.T.) or in the Nazarean Codicil (N.T.), then the Rabbis made it up and it’s not a valid date to be celebrated. Let me just say this about that. Baloney.

Esther saved the Jewish people from destruction. Mordeḵai, believed to be her Uncle and spiritual advisor, helped her do it. There are a few parallels with Hannuka. In Hannuka, the Greeks didn’t want to annihilate the Jews, they just wanted the Israelis to assimilate, and leave all that Jewish stuff behind. In Esther, Haman (the bad guy, a descendant of Amelich) wanted to destroy Judaism and wipe every Jew from the face of the Earth. Much like the descendants of Amelich (Terrorist Muslims and Progressive Liberals, to mention a couple of the groups) want to destroy Israel and its people today.

In Hannuka, the battle was fought with force by a family of Levites. In Purim, the battle is fought with prayer.  There is a lesson in that.

 

March 12, 2017 at 1:36 pm Leave a comment

Fast of Purim

Less than 2 hours to go….

I started this fast some 11 or so hours ago at sun-up.

This is a fast that is in memory of Esther of the Bible. Purim is a Rabbinical holiday that is based on her story in the Tanak (Old Testament). She (and Israel) fasted 3 days before implementing her plan to save her people.

It’s going pretty good, actually.

I can honestly say that I haven’t had anything since this morning. OK, Ok, I did take a little too long finishing my coffee. I guess I need to explain. On a day-fast fast, if you get up early enough, you can eat and drink before the sun comes up. In Judaism, there are four fast days: Tammuz 17, Av 9, Tishri 3, and Tevet 10. The entire Talmud tractate of Taanit contains the details of these fasts. The Tanach records these fasts as though they were contained in the written Torah:

 Zechariah 7:2-5 The people of Bethel had sent Sharezer and Regem-Melech, together with their men, to entreat HaShem By asking the priests of the house of G-d Almighty and the prophets, “Should I mourn and fast in the fifth month, as I have done for so many years?” Then the word of HaShem Almighty came to me: “Ask all the people of the land and the priests, ‘When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and seventh months for the past seventy years, was it really for me that you fasted?

This is quote from Rabbi Dr. Hillel

I think that Yom Kippur is the only Sundown to Sundown fast we have. It’s kind of funny that nowhere is it written to fast on these days. It all comes from Oral Law. Oral Law is the part that a lot of people get a big stumbling block. I  consider that it makes perfect sense that there be an Oral and a Written Torah. Here’s a good article R. Hillel has about it.

My morning and afternoon prayers were very good. The were some additions especially for this occasion in the Amidahs. The Amidahs are the silent prayers we say during the other prayers.

Along with fasting food and drink, I try to limit myself on secular entertainment and such.

I also like to study Torah and listen to teachings.

So, it’s about and hour till sundown and Giberet Chaggit has started the beans and rice.  I will be ready

Erev Shabbat is tomorrow night and Purim is Sunday.

Shalom U’brachot

Adon Aviner ben Abraham

March 9, 2017 at 11:49 pm 1 comment

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